I hate feeling like this. It's not as bad as yesterday. It will not be as bad tomorrow. Colds. Ugh.
In the news today, Nicely of www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com is today explaining the intricacies of VAT in the Guardian.
Staple foods are zero-rated for VAT. Cake is a staple food. Biscuits can be a staple food, unless they are luxury items. A biscuit usually becomes a luxury item when it is covered in chocolate. Because Jaffa cakes and teacakes* strongly resemble biscuits and are covered in chocolate, they have been classed as biscuits, and taxed accordingly, but are now legally cakes and therefore staples and therefore zero-rated.
The most fiendishly delectable thing about all of this is that even if a cake is covered in chocolate and filled with smashing orangy bits, it's still a staple food.
Of course I am foggy in the head, but I still find this somewhat amusing.
*Not the currant buns which are split, toasted, and buttered: the biscuity-things which are made with a layer of biscuit and a mound of gelatinous fluff falsely called "marshmallow", covered in cheap chocolate. I say "biscuity things" but in fact this is probably now illegal to say and they are in fact cakes. Cakes. Staple food. Zero-rated.
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Cake is a staple food
Of course!
So sorry to hear about the sniffles. Do feel better soon.
Of course!
So sorry to hear about the sniffles. Do feel better soon.
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biscuity-things which are made with a layer of biscuit and a mound of gelatinous fluff falsely called "marshmallow", covered in cheap chocolate
In American these are called Mallomars, which in the original brand are not entirely as cheap as you describe, but which usually are pretty bad and are called whatever the knockoff brand creator thinks sounds good. I've never seen them as "teacakes," however.
Why are they now legally cakes, if they resemble biscuits? Has the name been taken for the thing?
In American these are called Mallomars, which in the original brand are not entirely as cheap as you describe, but which usually are pretty bad and are called whatever the knockoff brand creator thinks sounds good. I've never seen them as "teacakes," however.
Why are they now legally cakes, if they resemble biscuits? Has the name been taken for the thing?
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Oh, is that what Mallomars are? Hm.
I have no idea how these things got to be classed as "cakes". They are sold, foil-wrapped, with biscuits, from every mobile tea-stall in Scotland.
I know how Jaffa cakes got to be legally cakes: the makers made a 12-foot one and brought it to court, demonstrating that while normally sold in biscuit-size and in packets of a dozen, they really consisted of cake, slice of orange jam, layer of chocolate.
Maybe the makers of teacakes did something similiar. I shudder to think.
They are called teacakes because the main manufacturers, Tunnocks, call them teacakes. Tunnocks also make a caramel wafer biscuit, which is probably still a biscuit, which is much nicer. I'm not fond of the marshmallow fluff. (It is tolerable when eaten roasted over a bonfire, the outside blackened and the inside all but liquid, with fireworks for decoration. I haven't eaten marshmallows that way in years, though.
I have no idea how these things got to be classed as "cakes". They are sold, foil-wrapped, with biscuits, from every mobile tea-stall in Scotland.
I know how Jaffa cakes got to be legally cakes: the makers made a 12-foot one and brought it to court, demonstrating that while normally sold in biscuit-size and in packets of a dozen, they really consisted of cake, slice of orange jam, layer of chocolate.
Maybe the makers of teacakes did something similiar. I shudder to think.
They are called teacakes because the main manufacturers, Tunnocks, call them teacakes. Tunnocks also make a caramel wafer biscuit, which is probably still a biscuit, which is much nicer. I'm not fond of the marshmallow fluff. (It is tolerable when eaten roasted over a bonfire, the outside blackened and the inside all but liquid, with fireworks for decoration. I haven't eaten marshmallows that way in years, though.
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Then again, there's another use for marshmellows, well, roasted marshmellows such as you describe, called "S'mores", because you always want "some-more".
I've met people who simply sandwich a roasted marshmellow between two layers of graham cracker, but to me this is direst apostasy - for the One True S'more must include a layer of chocolate between the graham cracker and marshmellow.
I've met people who simply sandwich a roasted marshmellow between two layers of graham cracker, but to me this is direst apostasy - for the One True S'more must include a layer of chocolate between the graham cracker and marshmellow.
I think I'm probably too old for S'mores. Aren't they a gourmet treat best appreciated by the young? At least, wouldn't they have to be eaten by an open fire?
On the other hand, such is my trust and affection for you, that if you ever offer me a S'more I'll try it. Once.
I sat next to the 12-year-old daughter of a friend at the homosamurai winterval dinner the other night, and we agreed that it was annoying to have to refrain from prawn crackers even though there was probably not a smidgen of prawn in them. (She is vegetarian: her mother and stepfather are not.) I eat crisps no matter what flavour they are, because I know the flavours they're imbued with are strictly artificial (though my favourites are usually vegetarian by name) but prawn crackers in a Thai or Chinese restaurant I resist on the grounds that I don't know what oil they were cooked in, as well as for the flavour. But she told me she also resists anything with gelatine, except for once-a-year marshmallows, which I agreed with.
Curiously, my mum never made a big thing about how we should avoid gelatin, though she never used it herself. I suppose she thought it was too difficult to explain to little kids that something that usually tasted of fruit was in fact made with bits of animal.
But I think you can buy vegan marshmallows these days: I must see if I can get a bag for daughter.
On the other hand, such is my trust and affection for you, that if you ever offer me a S'more I'll try it. Once.
I sat next to the 12-year-old daughter of a friend at the homosamurai winterval dinner the other night, and we agreed that it was annoying to have to refrain from prawn crackers even though there was probably not a smidgen of prawn in them. (She is vegetarian: her mother and stepfather are not.) I eat crisps no matter what flavour they are, because I know the flavours they're imbued with are strictly artificial (though my favourites are usually vegetarian by name) but prawn crackers in a Thai or Chinese restaurant I resist on the grounds that I don't know what oil they were cooked in, as well as for the flavour. But she told me she also resists anything with gelatine, except for once-a-year marshmallows, which I agreed with.
Curiously, my mum never made a big thing about how we should avoid gelatin, though she never used it herself. I suppose she thought it was too difficult to explain to little kids that something that usually tasted of fruit was in fact made with bits of animal.
But I think you can buy vegan marshmallows these days: I must see if I can get a bag for daughter.
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Have you ever ran into the Punch cartoon 'This here cats a dog and this goldfish is handluggage but this hamster's a tortoise' (Brish Rail Ticket regulations)
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